06 November, 2009

Self importance

I have found myself very concerned when trying to make decisions with what others (my family, friends, and society alike) might think or how it might affect others. It is a very tiring process to factor in other's feelings and opinions into even minor things like making plans that might exclude some friends, or not answering a call because quite frankly i'd rather just not listen to a person go on and on about something i really just don't care about.

I tried to explain these thoughts to one of my friends who is often criticized for her way of living which includes not caring about anything but pleasing herself and her answer was this... in the end you have noone to answer to but yourself, so do what feels right and fcuk the rest. - but it seems as if everytime I do that, I am not left with satisfaction, instead just a feeling of guilt that seems to consume my everythought until I do something that makes me feel like I have made up for my previous actions. It just seems like I try to satisfy all and end up satisfying none, least of all myself.

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