17 November, 2009

Finding "I"

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking soul searching about where I wanted Xanga to take me. Well not really Xanga but this blog. I've kept a journal since the time I turned 10 years old and my mother bought me a beautiful lilac diaries. She thought that since I read so much, I would probably enjoy writing just as much- and she was right. For years I wrote in these pages my daily activities, my dreams, goals and expectations. I never really wrote down my secrets because let's face it, those standard locks they put on diaries are not exactly mom proof, and although I never caught her I couldn't risk being too careful.

About the time that I entered High School I discovered the large collection of Journals sold at Barnes and Noble and since those four years were anything but uneventful I went through a myriad of these journals--needless to say my obssesion continued through out college too. Thus when I was unable to write in my journal for lack of words I felt lost and like I needed a way to channel my thoughts through writing. Today I reached a realization and this is it: I needed a change, for the last year I have felt uninspired and bland.
I've been rethinking my life and I feel somewhat unsatisfied with things. At some point I thought "Here I go again doing what I do best and changing my mind about things and not commiting to anything long enough to actually see the results"IT'S TIME TO CHANGE THAT !!

Mix things up and live a little LOT. So now that I've decided I need a change of pace, the next thing I am going to do is get my affairs in order. I now understand that change is developmental, transitional and transformational. Change doesnt happen overnight and it is important to have my goals clear in my mind in order to achieve them, no matter what life throws at me.

No matter where we are in our lives, it's never too late to re-invent ourselves and move foward with what we want our lives to be like. Don't allow yourself to get stuck in a life that you're not happy in. It is never too late to make a difference in your life. If you're unhappy DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. and that's why I will keep telling myself.

"Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is nonexistent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery—celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from—it’s where you take them to.”~ Jim Jarmusch

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