What am I doing? I try so hard to snap my fingers and have this feeling go away.
Why am I crying? there is no reason to it, nothing happened or perhaps so much keeps happening that I cannot pin point exactly what it is that is going on in my life. There is so much back and forth Im tired of it.
Im making progress, I should be happy. but it doesnt feel like it, I look around and all I see is me, alone as alway fighting my own battles without anyone by my side. It doesnt seem like things are going to change no matter what I do or try to do. I try what I think is my hardest---always I end up disappointed because my efforts arent gratified.

This is so much bullshit