10 July, 2011

I've never understood why so many marriages end up in divorce, or why so many love stories end with a not so "happily-ever-after" story. It tore my heart to think that two people could love each other so much and then come to a point where they lost even the last bit of respect for each other. [CUT-TAG="More Here..."]

I now understand that a story doesn't need to have a happy ending in order to be a lovely story. There were these two kids who shared a decade of friendship, love, trials and tribulation. Despite how much they tried in the end it didn't work out and they had to follow their our paths, apart. There was a part of me that felt like it was so a huge waste of time and how dare they not try harder! You see the thing is that when you strip people of all expectations and glorification, we are all but humans. We do the best that we can with the situations that has been dealt to us. It's not always the best way to handle things but it's how we felt it needed to be handled. I thought that if I forgot about you, every single thing, then I could move on with my life.

Two months later and I still manage to think about you every waking minute, even in my dreams I can't escape you. I can't bring myself to forget about you, I don't want to. Everything that we went through together has made me stronger as an individual. When I needed you the most you were there for me. That's not something many will be able to understand since they only remember the after math and how broken I was. Truth is you made me happier during those times than anyone else could have. We loved each other and shared so much. It's okay that things ended, maybe this is how it was meant to happen, I'm not too sure. What I do know is that without you I wouldn't know the things that I now know, nor known love the way I did.

In the midst of hurt and angst it's easy to forget how pure our intentions were. I am grateful for those memories and will carry them dearly in my heart. When I lost you, I lost my best friend, companion, lover and in a way hope- but I found that I have the strength to stand on my own two feet and discover new things. I wish you the best of luck, I know you'll be fine.

I'm really coming to a peaceful place in my life. I felt so lost just a couple of weeks ago, and although I don't have things figured out, it feels great to not have to work so hard at making everything right. I feel perfectly content living in the moment and enjoying life one day at a time.

It took me hitting rock bottom to realize that we were not put on this earth to make money, have a big house or drive a fancy car. We were put here to touch each others lives and learn from each other. To care about more than materialistic things that in the end just make our lives more comfortable, not happier. 

I used to have so much pride and that was bad, I'm still working on that. There's been such a tremendous change in my heart and I'm so grateful to have realized this sooner than later.

:) creating my own happily ever after.


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