Breaking It Up
By Lykke Li
Today has been a particularly different day. I woke up and was soon extremely happy when I realized that I have lost more weight, I boiled some water and made myself green tea. showered, did my hair and make up and laid out the clothes I'd wear for work later on. I spoke to Rosy for a while who I have again neglected, since it has been a week since i spoke to her (i<3 u) and was just hanging out until the time to leave for work came.
I got a call back from this cc company that I had left a message for regarding a claim and they denied my complaint and told me I had to pay off my balance immediately WTF???!!! i of course do not have the means to do that so I made a down payment and set up a payment plan to pay it off in six feasible payments since I wouldn't be receiving statements because they closed my account. I was taken so off guard that I just agreed to everything and just said fcuk it. cc companies made a whole mess out of my mom's credit which was absolutely great so I didn't want to put up a fight and be dragged into a big mess like her, having to call all these numbers and what not. but still I was annoyed.
When something happens to anger me or upset me i usually get over it in a couple of minutes and go on with my day, but being that the holidays are coming and i will have to travel home and buy gifts and spend so much money, it kind of put me in a weird mood. I was all of the sudden really upset and then everything that is not right in my life right now came to mind and got me even more upset. Now, I'm not used to being upset like this (it happens very seldom) and the rest of my night was kind of like that, one of my friends got me talking about my current situation with my boyfriend ex boyfriend and that ofcourse made me feel even worse. I am not sad but i am unhappy. I am not angry but I am disappointed. I am not hopeless but I am worried. and worse of all I am very lonely and not to mention confused.
one thing that does make me happy is cleaning with the music on, because I dont have to think just focus on getting everything clean. I cleaned the apartment on wednesday but my room is still full of clean clothes waiting to be folded and refolded neatly...so I will go do this now because I know it will help me clear my head.