06 August, 2011

i Officially declare this season OVER!

For far too long I thought that strength was suppresing my feelings and going on about my business as normal, but in the end long run i broke down ... and NOW it's time to stop. This is the last time (i hope) that i'll let it out again. Time to start my Happy season my life, and it's hard because you were my best friend. You know my deepest fears, things i can't even say outloud to myself. & now you're gone and i'm just supposed to be okay with that.

You told me so and then you kind of took it back, and I was desperate enough to accept that. I thought that you at least respected me & in some way valued our friendship. [CUT-TAG="More Here..."]



Of the same arguments, the same feelings of despair, missing you, wanting you, trying to get closer to you. Last night i felt ridiculous and i thought to myself Kathy have more self respect- stay away. This time I knew it was really over and i finally feel like i can breathe.(

"Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken it's toll on me"

"Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought I'd say
I’m fine,
Without you"


and maybe i'll be able to fool myself into thinking that this never happened.


"I set fire to the rain,
and I threw us into the flames,
well it felt something died,
'cause I knew that that was the
last time, the last time"

"Sometimes I wake up by the door,
that heart you caught must be waiting for ya."



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