Uninspired.

Presently I find myself wanting to shut my eyes and disappear into a blissful dream. It's always taken me a while to react to things and I still don't fully think that I am reacting strongly to this all. I guess such a big part of me is fighting despair and the other is completely apathetic because why should I feel that way? It is completely inconvenient to feel this way.

How am I to find my creativity when my heart and mind are both stoic? Well I guess my only choice is to take a nap and remember that I am better than this. It's all pretty simple (in)fact. Why allow something that I have no control over to bother me. Or is it the fact that I have no control over this that bothers me?

Let's explore that for a second. Power is invigorating, I feel comfortable with power. Now I'm not in a position to call any shots not that there are shots to be called. I am simply sitting in the plane waiting for it to take off but without really being able to get off.  As a matter of fact that is perfect, that's exactly how I feel.