I feel like crap.

ugh. I have had to face a lot lately. I've made some pretty bad choices and I handle things very poorly. Actually that's an understatement, I haven't handled things very well at all.

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

I thought that by isolating myself I could deal with my issues and then reconnect with those I love once I'd become a better version of myself. Instead I grew prideful thinking that I was doing what was best for me. I've become the worse I've imagine myself to ever be. I deprived myself of any true bond. And here I find myself, lost, lonely and confused. I don't know how to get back what I've lost.

I've hindered every relationship in my life, I grew apart from my family to the point that I dont know them and can't connect with my friends. I let pride defeat me. If nothing else I have become more humble and maybe with time I'll get my life back on track.