In times like these where so much seems to go wrong without any logical explanation and it's easier to complain about what we don't have, we often forget to be greatful for what we do have.

I've never been what so many would characterize as religious. Like many others in my generation I was brought up in a God fearing home. My mother is a firm believer and avid church goer, not just on Sunday mornings but throughout the week where she participates in various minestries. That's never been me and I can't say it will ever be. However I do believe in something glorious and manificant, I respect all those who believe in a greater force too because no matter what you call it, that force and that believe or rather faith gives you the will to keep on living besides what ever adversities may come up in your lives.

Today I woke up determined to get out of this rut that I find myself in. For a while now I have found myself in this cycle where I feel fine one day and the next I don't even want to get out of bed because I fear facing my troubles.

I hope this feeling of strength continues. I used to pray for some kind of hope to go on or a sign to tell me that everything will change for the better so I should hang in there. But if my life itself isn't enough to keep on with the struggle then nothig else will be.

For those that are looking for a sign or waiting for an external influence in your life I have only one thing to say to you, and that's is to pick yourself up think of how you want to your life to change and do it. You have to start somewhere so pick a small task and focus on it. Also find strength in your family and friends. They are not only there for laughs and giggles, instead true friends are there when you're feeling like me, in a rut and just need someone to listen and help you through it.

Watchig the news these last couple of days I have seen some truly inspirational stories of people who live in circumstances that I frankly doubt I have the strength for. So while I have my health, my family and wonderful people around me, I will not allow financial difficulties to ruin my charisma and my heart. ( if you're reading I know that you told me this a couple of weeks ago but t took sometime to make sense. Thank you)

To all my friends: thank you for being there for me, for being faithful and understanding even when it's hard. I love you =)
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